


Caught in Cobwebs

by Nitrobot



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Transformers: Prime
Genre: F/M, Flirting, Russian flirting, Undercover Missions, You have no goddamn idea how long ive wanted to write this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-21 23:24:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6062023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nitrobot/pseuds/Nitrobot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Knockout and Bond as reluctant partners, both respectively crushing on Airachnid and her partner Natasha.<br/>I guess they both have a thing for spiders.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Caught in Cobwebs

**Author's Note:**

> Knockout and Bond make sense because KO is an Aston Martin.  
> Airachnid as a Lamborghini and with Natasha makes sense because... pretty spiders.

"Where was it you said you were from again?" James asked, gripping the Aston Martin’s steering wheel only because he didn't want to tear into the leather seats.

"Cybertron,” came Knockout's smug as always voice over the radio as he wrenched the wheel in every direction, somehow navigating himself through a maze of evening rush hour without slowing down.

"I suppose they don't have speed limits there, then?" James had to flinch as they came within paint-scarring distance of a roadwork barrier, though part of him would have enjoyed his (for lack of a better word) partner scuffing himself in mad dash through a literally alien world.

"Primus gifted me with a twelve cylinder fuel-injection turbo-charged engine and you want me to keep it below 30?” Knockout scoffed in disgust, blowing smoke from that overclocked engine all over the column of cars on either side of him. “That's more than outrageous, it's practically criminal."

"Not as criminal as almost running half the bloody city over." James might have had a license to kill, but that didn't mean he could be involved in a hit and run and get off scot free. Not only that, for once he wasn't so keen on crowded street races after all when he wasn't the one driving.

"Not my fault your kind can't appreciate a finely tuned machine in action,” Knockout huffed haughtily, just before slamming his brakes down and almost flinging his passenger through his windscreen. “There, we made it in one piece, happy?” James’ tight expression reflected in the rear mirror showed he was anything but happy, but he gladly took the chance to get out of his seat while it was still open to him. Snapping his seatbelt off he forced himself to stop shaking as he brushed his suit down, rearranging himself into the aristocrat dream he was supposed to be masquerading as while scanning the already gathered crowd through the tinted door window.

“Now just what are we doing here?” Knockout sighed, and James swore his eyes would be rolling if he could have seen them. “I was barely listening to you during the first briefing.”

James exhaled heavily, gripping the steering wheel again just so he wouldn't be tempted to claw out Knockout's snooty radio. “A charity gala on behalf of Stark Industries is being held tonight in that building right there,” he said the second time that evening, pointing from the window to the tower that swept up into the sky. “Among the usual suspects attending is our target, Natasha Romanov; former KGB agent, now working for a group calling themselves SHIELD."

"And what do _they_ waste their time doing?" Knockout asked with only barely veiled boredom.

"No bloody idea. That's what I'm here to find out,” James answered, positioning his recording device cunningly fashioned as a tie clip (and by cunningly he meant ‘proof that MI6 were seriously running out of ideas’).

“And as for me?” Knockout asked, only too happy to open his driver-side door and metaphorically shove his human out onto the pavement.

“Find a good parking space,” James said, already turning his back on the robot as he surveyed the new arrivals before they had a chance to blend into the rest of the crowd.  
Knockout kept the door swung open so his patronised gasp could be fully heard. “You know, I'm starting to think I'm just a glorified chauffeur service for you.”

“Well, you're not exactly a tank I can just drive through the walls, are you, _doctor_?” James had to lower his voice so no-one thought he was mumbling to himself, but he still managed to get enough mockery into it to make Knockout’s engine growl.

“I see how it is, anything I share out of the kindness of my spark is immediately used to stab right through it-” Both his outcry and engine cut out as something else caught his attention, something that James didn't see until Knockout bothered to point them out.

“Oh, James? I do believe that's your target just walking in… and that's mine on the sidewalk.” Knockout blinked his headlights and angled his door mirrors to the right, and by tracking them James finally spotted the red tresses he was looking for. As expected, Natasha in the flesh wasn't exactly the same as the stern, undoubtedly deadly one he saw in the briefing pictures- she was definitely an improvement on them. The conventions of formality had forced her to adopt a dazzling dress that swept the floor and matched her curls, and an equally stunning smile that flashed in and out of view between a pair of ruby lips.

She was the textbook example of a femme fatale, but that didn't mean James ever tired of admiring them in the brief times they weren't trying to mount his head on a wall. Knockout, meanwhile, was focusing on something else entirely; the black Lamborghini she was leaning against and would have cost more than even James made in a year.

"You recognise her _car?_ " he asked, almost not believing he was saying it. Then again, moments like that were common ever since he discovered alien robots existed, let alone that he'd be coerced into partnership with one.

Knockout gave a rev of his engine in reply, almost equal to a human humming. "I'd recognise that plating even if it was on a starcruiser. You go on with your human, I'll... work on interrogating her partner.” In that kind of voice ‘interrogating’ would involve anything but getting answers, but James supposed a bot too busy trying to flirt with a vehicle would be one too busy to complain on the ride home (especially if he happened to have a certain someone in the passenger seat).

“If you say so…” James muttered, now watching Natasha ascend the stairs into the tower. “But for God’s sake, keep the windows rolled up, if anyone notices a car driving all by itself we’ll have a lot more than just SHIELD to worry about.

Knockout scoffed, and his headlights actually did roll that time. “Please, James, I'm a professional, just like you…” He slammed the door closed before James could keep him behind any longer, and rolled himself around so he was driving up to the empty space behind Natasha’s ride. As he settled on the road, he opened up a long dormant comm channel.

“I never thought a planet like Earth would appeal to someone like you, Airachnid.”

Just as he was hoping, he was soon answered with a rich mix of silk and venom that could only come from Airachnid's vocaliser. “I could say the same about you, Knockout.”

“Well, I do have to admire their automotive engineering…” he drawled, focusing his lights on the faint but intricate details weaved along her bumper. “And I must say, it looks especially good on you.”

Though her commlink gave a dismissive hum, her engine was already purring. “Human company hasn’t changed you a bit.”

Knockout couldn't help a bitter grunt grating through his vents. “Well, neither of us were given much choice in the matter. That's what I get for thinking a landing in the North Sea would go unnoticed…” He still had nightmares of the damage all that salt water would have done to his paint job.

Airachnid at least seemed to share his sentiments, from how her purr dropped a rough octave. “At least _you_ managed to avoid the giant lump of ice and snow called Siberia, which I ended up plummeting right in the middle of.”

“Fitting, considering how you plummeted into the Decepticons,” Knockout noted, glad to hear her smooth engine rumble return to its former melody.

“I suppose so,” she said. “Still, at least my human has some good sense about her. Megatron himself would have thought about recruiting her. She speaks a lovely language as well, so different from what the rest of the organics spout.”

Since he couldn’t raise an eyeridge in alt mode, his side mirrors twitched. “Well, I'm curious now.”

“I doubt you'd even understand it,” Airachnid said with a similarly skeptical sigh.

Knockout burned the asphalt underneath his tires with a fierce rev. “Try me.”

He heard her laugh, a crackle over his comm. “Alright then, here's one she likes to use on humans like yours.” Her vents opened, air flooding her intakes while Knockout tuned his audios in fully. “Собираетесь ли вы поговорить всю ночь или вы собираетесь ебать меня?”

There were a few nanoklicks of hesitation as Knockout's processor translated, and hear flared under his hood. “Well, since you're asking…”

She laughed again, and this time actually seemed impress. No easy feat, considering her lofty standards back on Cybertron that only mechs like Knockout himself could even hope of reaching. And all that hope finally gained him some results.

“You know, with my human having such greedy optics for yours, I'm sure neither of them will return for some time…” he suggested, wheels already turning towards a dark corner of the city he had in mind.

“As if you'd even _need_ all that time to yourself,” Airachnid quipped, though her windows steaming up were evidence enough of her own eagerness.

“Well, where you're concerned, I'd make all the effort to make it last, dear,” Knockout promised.

Airachnid allowed him a teasing, expectant moan over their link before she extracted herself from the sidewalk, leaving space for Knockout to drive forward and turn back onto the waiting road. “Lead the way then, статный.”


End file.
